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John Yamrus Sinking Spring / United States, Male, 69
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Latest 5 Poems of John Yamrus

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    John Yamrus's last comments on poems and poets

    • POEM: Who Is She? ? by Eman Awad (11/1/2007 4:40:00 PM)

      hi Eman;
      this isn't half bad...but you're making some terrible mistakes in both your spelling and punctuation...
      'Do you smile when you linger her name, '
      that makes absolutely no sense at all...correctly, a name may LINGER in your thoughts or a person may linger, but 'when you linger her name' is just plain b.a.d.
      'That wound won't be healed by the time,
      and even if it did, it will only become a seam.'
      do you perhaps mean 'won't be healed BY time'? and by 'seam', are you implying a scar? imprecise.
      'Her's and mine' should read 'hers'.
      this is all little stuff, but, taken together in can absolutely kill something creative and honest and new. just pay a little more attention to the small details and the larger aspects of the poem will work themselves out. i assure you.
      john yamrus

    • POEM: Who Is She? ? by Eman Awad (10/25/2007 9:14:00 AM)

      hi Sonet;
      i realize that it's due to english probably being your second language, but as a published writer you MUST pay closer attention to your spelling and garmmar. additionally, this poem is way too linear. it's just a statement of fact. there's no movement. it's just a statement of fact with nothing being accomplished or changed...it's akin to saying 'this is a brown dog.' you're better than that. i know it and you know it.
      john yamrus

    • POEM: Who Is She? ? by Eman Awad (10/11/2007 11:08:00 AM)

      finally! someone on this site who knows how to write! congratulations! not a moon/june to be found in your poetry. feel free to e-mail me at jyamrus@aol.com
      john yamrus