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Comte Valois Plano / United States, Male, 30
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  • (11/9/2007 7:34:00 AM)

    This is a good piece that i can really relate to...ive had to deal with thoughts of suicide and actions taken upon those thoughts...and you captured what suicide really is quite well. however, if you would like some constructive criticism, i would say be careful of how the poem flows, especially in the last 2 lines of the stanzas, where you repeat something, then have a longer 4th line...it throws off the flow of the poem a little bit. but that is all :) the rhyme scheme was good, i enjoyed that very much. im a fan of rhyming poetry, and so i say props to you on that one. good job with this and keep it up :)