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    • POEM: Worthless by xx charmer xx (12/20/2007 3:31:00 PM)

      (((((Camryn)))))))

      My heart goes out to you sweetness. You carry so much pain. You are ''NOT'' a worthless daughter. You are a brave and courageous young woman. You Mom just doesn't know how to be the mother that you need her to be. She lashes out at you based on her own insecurities and failures as a woman. I certainly an not justifying her behaviour but she is a hurting woman as well and just does not have the skills to be a better mom. This does not mean that she does not love you. Have you thought about having her read your poem? It is worth taking the risk. You dont know unless you try. Does she really know how you feel? I know that is difficult since you do not trust her as a mom. If you choose to do this, at least you have done your part.

      I had the same kind of relationship with my mother growing up. I just couldn't do anything right. Perfectionism was so demanding. Today my mother respects me since I started standing up to her. That started when I moved out of the house. I would not accept her trying to control me through guilt. I didn't attack her verbally but started communicating to her in ''I'' terms. For example, I would say: '''When you say this to me (whatever that may be that is hurtful) I feel hurt.

      The most important thing for you right now is to keep reaching out. Reach out to someone you can trust. There are some amazing counsellors out there who just listen and help build self esteem and confidence. Sometimes we need to find a mom figure in someone else who accepts us for who we are, unconditionally. TAre you in school? If so what about a guidance counsellor. That's what they are there for. There is an awesome MSN group called HUGS (Hope United Gives Strength) . It is a very wam and accepting group. One can post on different boards (ie) General, Fears and Depression, Anger, Sharing our Past, Spiritual, Fun etc. The women are all ages from teens to grandmothers. People read your post and respond to it. It is worth looking in to. I know it's hard feeling like you are all alone. You are not alone. There are others who deeply care for you and accept you for who you are. Sending you safe and warm snuggly hugs.

      Linda