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Jessica Fay Harding Stafford / United Kingdom, Female, 27
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Latest 5 Poems of Jessica Fay Harding

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    Jessica Fay Harding's last comments on poems and poets

    • POEM: Sealed Unto Tears by Hasan Haskovic (12/11/2012 5:57:00 AM)

      This is a very emotional poem, Hasan. It is obvious that you feel that you cannot move on from this particular point, as the title of the poem suggests. I find the refrain ‘I had not lived/I have not died’ particularly interesting. The way you have fashioned the sentence to mean that you haven’t lived a day in your life without this enigmatic person coupled with your admittance that you are only left with ‘gracious despair’ to hold your hand is quite a powerful sentiment. The speaker exists in the monotonous, lonely and unidentifiable space between life and death beyond the reach of help or basic human contact.
      The poem could be improved with a greater attention to syntax and punctuation. Although it may be more important for you to express yourself on paper without thinking about grammar, your emotions will become clearer and more poignant if attentions are paid to grammatical and syntactical rules and conventions. For example there isn’t a single full stop in the poem. I think it would benefit the message and the reader’s lungs if a full stop or two is included!
      The poem could also be improved by a slightly unconventional use of punctuation at times. I think ellipsis in the first verse would work particularly well:
      ‘ Bitter, bitter thoughts…
      the stagnated overflow of memories.
      My love, my hatred
      Clutching my mind…
      Endlessly afraid,
      Afraid of what I am…
      Afraid of what I made’.

      This is only a suggestion! I think this establishes quite a strong authorial presence in your work, almost as if you are reciting the poem over your reader’s shoulders. I hope I have been helpful and not patronizing!

    • POEM: Sealed Unto Tears by Hasan Haskovic (7/27/2010 11:45:00 AM)

      Some aspects of this poem don’t make sense, particularly in the first stanza where you say that the person’s smile is almost too good to be real (obviously engendering your feelings) to then say this infatuation isn’t worth pursuing in the next line. I think this is because you have read some love poems and have remembered the clichés without considering how they would sound as a singular body. This detracts the poem from an obviously heartfelt piece to one where the reader is forced to focus on the aforementioned weaknesses. My advice to you would be to continue writing and find the unique phraseology this poem desperately craves!

    • POEM: Sealed Unto Tears by Hasan Haskovic (7/21/2010 9:18:00 AM)

      This is a very heartfelt and sincere poem, Jamie. There are obviously a few metaphors and similes but I found the enjambment (where an individual line or couplet is continued without a pause) interesting. You start by a couplet to show the link between how painful it is for the person to hurt you as you care for the person a lot. This makes way for the bigger revelations of the middle which are broken down to show how hard they are for you to admit. Then the sentences become longer towards the end as you are angry over how the person assumes what you feel, causing you to break down in the last line hence the caesura: ‘this isn't fare’ (if you were to punctuate it) ! The lack of punctuation gives the impression that the speaker is scribbling this down making the feelings plausible. However, would punctuation reinforce the tone described above? Not sure. I don’t want to invest too much trust in my assumptions! I like it.

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